Family Guy How Do You Know When You're Done

Family Guy (Goggle box Series)

Tea Peter (2012)

Glenn Quagmire : Hey you e'er accidentally masturbate to young pictures of your mom?

Peter Griffin : Who the fuck starts a conversation similar that? I simply sat down.

Peter Griffin : Carter? Oh hey. You're involved with the Tea Political party? Wait a minute. This is what Brian was alarm me about: that the Tea Party is run by rich guys who are only out for themselves.

Carter Pewterschmidt : Brian? You mean that arrogant, unemployed canis familiaris of yours? Peter, he'southward only ane of those liberal elites who spreads lies and hates patriots.

Peter Griffin : Aye, he kinda is.

Stewie Griffin : Not to alarm anyone but a guy took me into the cupboard to endeavor me on. I fit by the way.

Tea Party Rally Speaker : Welcome, everyone! It'southward smashing to see and so many regular people out here. Folks who are tired of big government and are set up to stand upward for their rights.

Tea Party Fellow member : Aye!

Tea Political party Fellow member : Downward with the Spend-o-crats!

Peter Griffin : Nosotros are Marshall!

Joe Swanson : Boy, they're really confronting socialism.

Peter Griffin : That's right. The Tea Political party is all about self-reliance. Look, there'southward even a Tunnel of Cocky-Love.

[equally customers enter the ride, they're each given a copy of Playboy magazine]

Ride Attendant : [to a customer coming out] Would you lot like to buy a photo of yourself on the ride, sir?

Male Customer : No, I would not.

Carter Pewterschmidt : All right, now, remember, the Tea Party is a grassroots movement. We're not covered by the lamestream media, so we gotta reach out to the common homo individually.

Peter Griffin : Right, mutual man.

[he dials a telephone number]

Adult female on Phone : [picking upwards] Hello?

Peter Griffin : Aw, jeez, it's... it's a girl.

[Carter shakes his head in disapproval]

Peter Griffin : May I speak to the man of the house?

Woman on Phone : This is the woman of the house, and there is no man living here.

Peter Griffin : No? Due west-W-What is... I-I... how are you paying for this telephone?

Adult female on Phone : I'thou a lawyer.

Peter Griffin : Oh, I encounter, and are you lot in your petty courthouse correct at present representing Barbie?

[she hangs upwardly]

Peter Griffin : Okay, ane vote for the Tea Party.

Carter Pewterschmidt : All right, kiss government goodbye.

Peter Griffin : Aye, I tin can't await to burn down all them city employees, starting with that half-asleep construction worker.

[cut to him in traffic approaching structure on the sidewalk; the worker holds upwardly a stop sign while simultaneously waving him forwards]

Peter Griffin : What the hell? West-W-Which ane is it, end or go forward? This is a big bargain. They're non at all like.

[the worker turns his sign around, which reads "boring"]

Peter Griffin : Ah, no, no, no, no. You, sir, have lost my business organisation.

[he gets out of the car and walks away]

Carter Pewterschmidt : You and I are both businessmen who piece of work difficult and pay taxes. Except that I make x,000 times what you make.

Peter Griffin : Yep, we're the same, you lot and me.

Carter Pewterschmidt : You know, Peter, the truth is, I could actually use a regular guy like you to assist go our message out, and I know Joe Workingman agrees with me.

[putting on his difficult hat with a fake wig]

Carter Pewterschmidt : Dearest to have y'all on lath, Peter.

Peter Griffin : Wow, thanks, Joe. You can count on me.

[Carter takes the disguise off]

Peter Griffin : Aw, Carter, you but missed Joe Workingman.

Carter Pewterschmidt : [amused laugh] Oh, I think he'll know I was hither.

[he starts laughing diabolically, and Peter joins in nervously]

Peter Griffin : I'k not certain what'southward happening.

Brian Griffin : The Tea Political party isn't the grassroots motility you lot think it is. It's actually funded by big-business organization types who are using you lot to become the government out of their way and so they can roll over everyone.

Stewie Griffin : Mom held easily with a woman at the gas station this morning. Don't know what that means. Just reporting it.

Brian Griffin : All I'm saying is you're beingness used and you're likewise clueless to know it.

Peter Griffin : Boy, you only call back y'all're so superior, don't you? Similar that outset animate being to walk on dry land.

[cutaway]

Fish #1 : Hey, where'd you go?

Second Animal : Ah, I went for a jog.

Fish #ane : What's a jog?

Second Brute : It'south a great way to stay in shape is what it is.

Fish #3 : Is information technology like a swim?

Second Creature : [condescening laugh] No, no, it's, information technology's nothing like a swim.

Peter Griffin : Wow, a lot of people hither today.

Glenn Quagmire : Yeah. Man, I love street fairs. They got rides, games, and ethic food cooked horribly past white Americans.

Taco Lover #2 : [with a thick Bostonian accent] Tack-os! Hot tack-os here!

Taco Lover : Oh, are those tack-os?

Taco Lover #2 : You improve believe they're tack-os.

Taco Lover : I love tack-bone! Especially on a corn tor-till-uh.

Taco Lover #2 : Oh! I love tack-bone on a corn tor-till-uh!

Lois Griffin : Oh, hi, Peter. How was your rally?

Peter Griffin : Oh, it was great, and at present I know it'due south the right cause to get behind 'cause a smart guy like your dad is involved.

Brian Griffin : What? Carter was at the Tea Party rally?

Peter Griffin : Yeah, he was running the whole thing.

Brian Griffin : Peter, what did I tell you about rich guys?

Peter Griffin : Look, I know what you lot're thinking, Brian, simply don't worry. It'due south all okay. Turns out yous're the enemy. They're the ones who are on our side.

Brian Griffin : [sarcastic] Oh, of grade, Carter Pewterschmidt, an industrialist with oil refineries in this city, is on your side. He wants to get rid of environmental regulations for y'all.

Stewie Griffin : Brian, he doesn't get sarcasm.

Peter Griffin : No, information technology'due south not merely environmental regulations, Brian. Carter wants to get rid of the whole city government of Quahog. He even put me in accuse of the PR entrada to do it.

Lois Griffin : Get rid of the regime? Peter, if I know my dad, he's probably using you lot.

Peter Griffin : Lois, I'm then glad you've washed the dishes so that you can hang out and chime in on this.

Lois Griffin : Actually, Peter, I oasis't done the dishes.

Peter Griffin : Oh, you haven't? Well, then, I'yard confused.

Stewie Griffin : Oh, he does go sarcasm.

Peter Griffin : Hullo, there. May I aid y'all folks?

Peter'southward Customer : Yes, my family and I would like our portrait painted.

Peter Griffin : Well, you came to the correct identify.

[he reveals an easel and painting supplies]

Peter Griffin : [a few minutes after] Looking good. Almost done. And... there. Washed.

[showing them the finished painting, they see the begetter and son sitting normally, with the wife and girl in their underwear kissing]

Peter'due south Customer : What have you done?

Peter Griffin : I painted the truth. I painted my truth.

Tea Political party Rally Speaker : And now, information technology's my privilege to introduce another regular, bluish-collar guy, our Quahog chapter spokesman, Joe Workingman!

Carter Pewterschmidt : [with an obviously bad disguise] Good afternoon, friends and socioeconomic equals! Is anyone else out there ill of government crap?

Peter Griffin : [equally the crowd cheers] Oh, my God. It'southward like he's saying everything I'm listening to.

Carter Pewterschmidt : That'south right. The authorities wants to tell y'all what foods to eat.

[boos]

Carter Pewterschmidt : And what church building you can get to.

[more boos]

Carter Pewterschmidt : And that you tin't ain a chimpanzee because yous're non responsible plenty.

Peter Griffin : [more boos] I would feed it!

Carter Pewterschmidt : Too, the government wants to tell y'all how many children y'all can have.

John Herbert : [mortified] What? No!

Carter Pewterschmidt : And the authorities wants to tell you you can't throw your old TVs into the river.

Conseula : And so how I supposed to find TV?

Carter Pewterschmidt : If you join the Tea Party, together, we can set up all that. But y'all probably don't wanna join the Tea Political party because all you lot get are these stupid, awesome keychains!

Joe Swanson : [after a spoken language from "Joe Workingman"] I got to say, that guy made a lot of sense.

Glenn Quagmire : He sure did. The regime's actually gotten out of mitt.

Peter Griffin : Aye, those bastards take ruined everything. The same way the Village People ruined any gathering of a cop, an Indian chief, and a construction worker.

Peter Griffin : What do you think, mom, is that the most cute helpmate you lot've ever seen?

Helpmate : I beloved it!

Bride's Mother : Oh, it'southward only so much money.

Peter Griffin : It's true. It's true. Take the apparel off, sweetheart. Your mother says you tin't accept it.

Bride's Mother : Westward-Wait, expect, look a minute. Do you really honey it?

Helpmate : I practise. It simply feels similar my wedding dress.

Peter Griffin : Oh, mom, she loves it.

Helpmate's Mother : Okay. We'll have it.

Lois Griffin : [coming downstairs] Peter, what is that daughter doing in my hymeneals dress?

Peter Griffin : [crawling nether the clothes's hem] She gone?

Bride : No.

Peter Griffin : Okay, well, while I'1000 down hither, allow me give you my card. In that location y'all go.

Peter Griffin : Oh, hey, Joe. What's going on?

Joe Swanson : Peter, I'm afraid I'm here to close you lot downwardly. You lot're running an unlicensed concern, and that's confronting the law.

Peter Griffin : Aw, that is such bullcrap.

Joe Swanson : Well, you can't fight Urban center Hall.

Peter Griffin : Oh, nosotros'll come across about that!

[leaving and coming back beaten up]

Peter Griffin : City Hall knows karate.

Peter Griffin : Spotter out there, Brian. Looks like the floor is wet.

Alan : [passing by] Excuse me. I'yard kind of in a bustle.

[slipping on the water puddle]

Alan : Ahhh! Son of a bitch!

Peter Griffin : Oh, my God! Are you okay?

Alan : I'm lamentable. I've been a flake distracted lately. I think my wife has been crossing the street with some other homo.

Alan'due south Wife : [outside, crossing the street with some other generic-sign figure] God, I promise Alan doesn't find out.

Lois Griffin : Peter, what are yous doing?

Peter Griffin : I'm just puttin' up my new sign.

Lois Griffin : Don't put that matter on our door. If you want to hang it somewhere, hang it in the basement.

Peter Griffin : Oh, why? And then you can hog it while you're doing laundry? No way.

Lois Griffin : Peter, we're not a business organisation.

Peter's Client : [coming in] Hey, I saw your sign. So, you're open up?

Peter Griffin : That'southward correct.

Peter'south Customer : What exercise you practice?

Peter Griffin : What do you need?

Peter'southward Customer : Milk.

Peter Griffin : We accept milk.

Peter Griffin : Adept Tea Party morning, everyone!

Brian Griffin : Peter, yous joined the Tea Party?

Peter Griffin : That's right, Brian. I finally got something better to do with my Saturdays than sit at the mall and watch Japanese girls express mirth at normal chat.

Peter Griffin : Hey, Mort, what's this thing?

Mort Goldman : Oh, that? That's my "Come in! We're open up" sign.

Peter Griffin : What'southward that, like an iPad?

Mort Goldman : No, it's a sign.

Peter Griffin : Wish I had one of those.

Mort Goldman : I've got a whole box of 'em. Accept information technology. It's yours. No accuse.

Peter Griffin : Ugh, typical Jew.

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2040798/characters/nm0532235

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